Yesterday morning I was taking Claire to her room...a fairly straight shot from our room with the exception of a corner wall that sticks out across from our door. I've walked that path a billion times before without incident. However, my left foot decided to mix things up a bit and slammed my pinkie toe into that corner wall as I walked past it. I heard a crack (presumably my knuckle cracking) and tried really hard to 1) not drop Claire, 2) not curse up a storm, and 3) not wake Hudson or Max as I tried to maintain my composure. Mission accomplished!
After getting breakfast for the kids, I went back to bed, hoping to get a little more rest before starting the day. My toe had other plans. No matter what position I put my foot in, it hurt like the dickens so I got up and got going on a few things. First thing on the agenda: take Motrin and Tylenol. It was really fun hobbling around the house making beds, getting the kids ready for the day, etc. After a while, the meds I took kicked in and helped with the pain a bit but right around lunchtime, they wore off. After a few more hours of wondering, I finally called down to the InstaCare clinic in town (my regular doctor's day off, of course). Upon hearing that it was a slow day and that there was no wait, I called a neighbor to come sit with the kids so I could have my toe checked out.
It was indeed a quiet day at the clinic and I was happy to get in right away. My nurse, on the other hand, was apparently unhappy to be there and it seemed like even making small talk was painful, totally out of her way, and beyond her customer relations capabilities. Thankfully everyone else was very nice and pleasant to work with. When my doctor came in, he took one look at my toe and said, "Whoa! What did you do?!" He immediately ordered an x-ray and a few minutes later I was down the hall having pictures taken. I just loved the weird positions that I had put my foot in. And, oh, what glorious joy I found in holding perfectly still in said positions. Anyway, when the doctor met me back in the exam room, he confirmed what I was guessing: that I broke my poor little pinkie toe. It's not a clean, straight break. Rather a "spiral" or diagonal break that kind of goes up and around the bone. Totally un-awesome. Want to know what's even more un-awesome? I have to wear a special boot/shoe for the next month, longer if it's still hurting at that point. Yippee!
Speaking of my precious boot, when another nurse came in to wrap my toe (which, by the way is nearly impossible to wrap to the toe next to it since it's so freakishly short) and fit me for a boot, she brought two of those lovelies with her. She automatically put the smaller one down and handed me the larger of the two. Without even trying it on, I told her I didn't think it would fit my Amazon-ishly (new word!) ginormous feet but I went along with the game and tried it on anyway. Yeah...my toes totally hung over the end. She was completely shocked and said, "But it's a women's large and the biggest I have!" Um, doesn't matter, honey. Go fetch a men's size. I told her that a men's 8 1/2 or 9 should fit and she brought back a men's large. I immediately considered taking offense (I'm not a clown, people!) but once again played along, trying on a shoe that was entirely too huge. Finally, the third try was the charm: a men's medium. And in all honestly, I'm glad that's what I ended up with because it's solid black and is way more inconspicuous than the horribly anti-fashion light blue women's thing she brought in before.
Now, for the piece de resistance...a picture of what my foot looked like earlier today. I wish I had taken a picture yesterday when just the beginnings of my bruising were there. Much darker and smaller in size. Today's is definitely more spread out but not nearly as impressive when it comes to color:

I'll tell you what...I wish I had gotten a pedicure a couple of days ago when I was thinking of it. Now it hurts to even touch my toe and I can't trim that lame toenail. Not that it matters any more since I have to wear my boot anytime I'm up and around for the next month or more and no one is going to see it anyway. At least I've escaped from snow-blowing and any heavy shoveling for a while.