My Well-Mannered Girl

My Claire is chock-full of great one-liners.  Over the years we've had several good giggles over some of the things that's she has said.  Last week she added another one to the list....

 

She was sitting at the bar/island in the kitchen on Tuesday afternoon doing her homework.  I was cooking or doing something as she worked away.  Without apology or an "excuse me" afterwards, she very audibly passed gas.

 

Me: What was THAT?!

 

Claire: That was just for you.

 

I had the hardest time stifling the laughter that was building up inside.  I gently scolded her for her lack of manners and then hurried to the backyard to turn on the grill and giggle in privacy.

The Things These Kids Say...

I'm pretty good about telling my family and friends about the funny things my kiddies say but I often forget to write them down.  So today I'm going to rattle off a few of the gems that have flowed from their mouths...

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Claire is currently on a spelling kick.  She loves repeating how to spell the handful of words that she has mastered.  About a month ago we were sitting at dinner one night...

C: I know how to spell cow!

Me: Okay...how?

C: M - O - M!

Me: That spells "mom".

C: Ohhhhhhh!  Then how do you spell cow?

I could have curled up in a ball and cried but I decided that I wouldn't let a 4 year old ruin my night and had a good laugh instead.

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I took Claire with me to the AT&T store one day and in the middle of our visit I had to take her to the restroom in the back.  The toilet paper contraption was well out of her reach (really...ridiculously placed fairly far from the commode) so I pulled some off the roll and handed it to her.  She took it with a sigh and said, "Toilet paper is the BEST."  Yes, yes it is.

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We were at Max's office a few days after the previous toilet paper episode when once again Claire had to use the restroom (what is with these kids?!).  I took her down the hall and upon entering the stall, I offered to get some toilet paper for here since once again, I didn't think she could reach it.  She quickly told me she could do it and reaching for the roll said, "Watch...and learn."  I watched.  I learned.  She was right.

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A while back I bought a big box of frozen boneless skinless chicken breasts.  Since the box itself wouldn't fit in the freezer downstairs I pulled out the individual resealable bags and stuffed them in wherever I could find room.  That night around dinnertime, I sent Hudson downstairs to grab a pound of butter from the freezer for me.  He came back upstairs and said, "It sure was nice of the guys at the store to cut all that chicken into heart shapes for us."  Some of the breasts weren't separated or cut apart and so really, some of the pieces did look like hearts.  It just struck me as funny that he thought that the store actually went to the trouble of cutting them that way.

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One day last week Claire was begging to play games on my iPad.  I repeatedly told her "no" and she persisted until I was really firm with her.  A few minutes later we were in the kitchen when she came over to me and asked me to be quiet for a second.  I obliged and she put her ear up against my thigh and said, "Your body says I can play on your iPad."

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I know I have more stored deep in the deep abyss of my short term memory somewhere...hopefully I'll find them one of these days so I can post more.

Olympics: Our Addiction & Hudson's Goals

We have a slight problem here, people. We are seriously addicted to the Olympics (aka "'Lympics" as the peeps around here called them back in '02). Each night after the kids go to bed, we watch the primetime stuff that we TiVo'd the night before. We plop down in our comfy chair and couch and spend the night watching Bob Costas' commentary, Mary Carillo go on her little adventures, and - of course - the athletes doing their thing. This is all fine and dandy until you factor in our staying up until midnight or 1:00 doing this every night. It's catching up to me. Some days I'm sluggish all day. Others I'm snippy. Today it's a headache. This has got to stop. I'm giving it another week and a half or so and then I'm quitting for a good 2 years.

We watched the women's downhill final last night. Holy cow...could I have cringed any more than I did watching a few of them crash? I think not. Max and I both remarked a number of times that we can't believe that these athletes do these things in spite of crash after crash and one injury or surgery after another.

Our observing athletes in their worst moments isn't helping Hudson's newly stated goals of becoming a winter Olympian. During the late afternoon and earlier evening hours, he's been joining us in our addiction. Loves every minute of it. While watching various competitions, he has said that he thinks he'd like to be a __________ someday (insert type of winter sportsman of choice). He's talked about being a cross-country skier, a downhill skier, a luger, a speed skater, and a figure skater. When talking about doing luge, he said, "I could be good at that. But if I did that, I think I would pee my pants." I'm not too keen on his taking up anything even semi-hazardous. Super G or downhill? No way. His best bet for getting maternal support would probably be one of the two the skating options with speed skating in first place (not too keen on the feathery/glittery unitards). And speaking of that...

Yesterday afternoon, we were catching up on some of the men's figure skating. When Johnny Weir came out on the ice in his lovely black and fuchsia number, Hudson's immediate response was, "EW!" Amen, little man. He said the same thing another time or two during the routine and didn't say anything again until it was Evan Lyascek's turn. When he took to the rink, Hudson looked at his solid black ensemble and slick hair and said, "He looks pretty cool." I commented that he looked a lot better than Weir and Hudson agreed stating, "He was wearing PINK. And he looked like a girl." Once again, my boy said what the rest of us were thinking. Maybe speed skating is more his thing.

Now we'll just have to wait a couple of years and see what summer Olympic sports he aspires to participate in. Basketball? Swimming? Volleyball? Track or Field? Just about any summer sport with sit much better with this mommy than the majority of the winter sports.

P.S. Whenever I type "Weir", my fingers automatically add a "d" on the end. Sorry, Johnny, these fingers don't lie.

Advanced Kindergarten Subject?

The Wednesday after we got back from California, Hudson and I met with his teacher for an end-of-term conference. During said meeting, she showed him his "report card". On it, she had typed up a couple of paragraphs - one praising him for the things he's doing well at and the other stating the things she wants him to work on. He read the first paragraph without missing a beat but while reading the second paragraph, we hit a little snag. Mrs. W. wrote that she wants him to keep working on his handwriting (his one weakness). He read this and then looked up and said, "What about my footwriting?" Neither his teacher nor I could stifle our laughs. We explained to him that we don't write with our feet. This, of course, prompted a, "Why?" from my boy but he took our word for it in the end.

A GIRL AFTER MY OWN HEART...

As I was serving up soup for Max, Hudson, and myself last night, I turned and asked Claire (who won't eat much of anything and sometimes won't eat the things she usually likes) what she wanted for dinner:

Me: "Would you like a banana with dinner?"

Claire: "No."

Me: "Okay...how about some string cheese?"

Claire: "No. Ummmm...chocolate?"

Me: "No!"

Then, a similar conversation unfolded this morning after Hudson went to school. Claire marched over to the fridge and as she reached to open it...

Me: "Would you like a Go-Gurt?"

Claire: "Yes. Ummmm....no! Ice cream."

Me: "No."

Claire: "Lollipop?"

I think someone just might have a bit of a sweet tooth. Where, oh where could she have gotten that from? I wonder.

FOR THE LOVE OF JOURNEY (& GLEE)

As I'm sitting here getting a few things done in my office/craft/tornado room, I am listening to Hudson and his little friend Zack as they play. A minute ago, Hudson broke out in song, "Don't stop...believin'! Hold onto that fee-eeeelin'! Street lights...people...oh-oh-ohhhh-oh-oh!" Then I heard him ask Zack, "Isn't that an AWESOME song?" Zack's response? "Nope." You could tell from Hudson's response that this was downright obnoxious in his mind, "Yes, it is. It's Don't Stop Believin'!" The conversation ended at that and things have been smooth since then in spite of their apparent difference in musical tastes. Maybe I'll prompt Hudson to start belting out a verse or two of Africa and see what Zack has to say about that...

GOOD THING...

This afternoon, as Hudson was eating his lunch, he stopped eating for a second, turned to face me and said, "I'm glad I'm a male." Well, bud, I'm glad to hear you say that. 'Cause it sure ain't changing anytime soon.

LAKE TAHOE: PART I

As I write this, I'm relaxing in a very loud but comfy leather chair in our very nice, very comfy, very perfect condo in South Lake Tahoe (thanks, Dad and Mom!). We're here for a family vacation/reunion with my 4 sibs and their kiddies. Together with my parental units, we make up a ridiculously awesome group of 28 people.

We got here last Friday in the late afternoon. But not before a most lovely long drive across the rather unlovely desert. A short while after leaving home (no more than 30 minutes), Hudson called out from the back seat: "Mom, are we actually in Africa?" I answered in the negative and considered the fact that driving through parts of Africa would have been far more scenic and interesting than the vast expanse of dirt, sand, and sagebrush that we were watching whiz by our windows. We were treated to a few rain, lightning, and thunder storms along the way. And this left us pitying the motorcyclists who sat under overpasses waiting for the pelting rain and hail to move on. But while they looked miserable, we thoroughly enjoyed the chaotic weather from the safety of my most beloved Expedition. Another highlight of the drive: for the first time ever, Max actually let me drive a leg of the trip. We have made a number of long drives in our 10.75 years of marriage and he has never allowed me behind the wheel. Not on "quick" 4 hour drives, not on our longer 13 hour drives. Friday was the first time ever. And let me tell you, it was a glorious thing. Those two hours behind the wheel were totally refreshing, rejuvenating, and completely life changing. And they flew by like I didn't know time could fly on long drives.

Since we got here, things have been pretty laid back but not always by choice. Hudson had a fever for the first couple of days and as he got over that, I came down with a loverly smoker's lung cough. Then both kids managed to pick that up from me with Hudson having it worse than Claire. He woke up from a nap today due to coughing too hard and proceeded to lose his lunch. Ah, the glories of Acid Reflux. Poor kid.

It hasn't been all fevers, coughing, and cookie tossing, though. While it was somewhat chilly for the first couple of days and the weather has just improved yesterday and today, we've had family dinners, gone swimming in the wondrously warm pool and sat in the not-too-hot hot tub, discovered that there is absolutely no good shopping in Tahoe, and gone to the grocery store about 228 times (Raley's is a very short walk away from where we're staying and I have a knack for forgetting things). We have plans to visit Emerald Bay, possibly rent a boat to go out on the lake for a half day, and take a trip to Virginia City. But even if none of that happens and we just hang around here, it's nice to be away together and to take a break from "real life".

More Tahoe to come...

IMAGINARY FRIENDS

When Hudson added his imaginary son, Seventy, to his list of favorite people/things the other day, I thought that doing a post about Hudson's little pal might be appropriate. Since then, I've been thinking about imaginary friends in general and how many kids do or don't have them.

I had an imaginary friend. Her name was Jefinner. I'm not even sure that I spelled it correctly but it was either that or Jeffiner and I think that the first looks better. Either way, I'm sure that you get that it was my way of saying Jennifer incorrectly. I don't remember ever playing with her but Jefinner was the coolest chick around. She had all the toys that I wanted but didn't have, went on the best vacations, did the most amazing things. Oh - and she had brown hair. I remember driving to the city with my family as a child and pointing out all of the houses that Jefinner lived in. Each time I saw what my little mind thought was a cool looking dwelling, I'd say something like, "That's where Jefinner lives." To which one of my family members would respond, "I thought you said that she lives in that pink house a few miles back." Then I would say something like, "Well, she used to live there. Then they moved to the new house a few days ago." Very flighty, that family of hers. Anyway, enough about my girl.

Seventy came to live with us some time ago - maybe a year or 18 months? He popped up out of the blue. I don't remember the first time that Hudson mentioned him but I do remember thinking, "Wow. That's an interesting name." I have two strong memories of Seventy, both being from sometime this last fall.

First, we were driving to Target one day and Hudson had just informed me that Seventy was in the back seat buckled in next to him. He then proceeded to tell me that Seventy's parents were in the car in front of us...the conversation then went something like this:

Me: "I thought that you were Seventy's dad."
Hudson: "Well, they're allergic to kids so he's going to be with us for like, a month."
Me (quietly laughing): "Okay."
Hudson: "Mom? Seventy is sad."
Me: "Why?"
Hudson: "Because someone shooted his mom with a gun-shooter (aka gun) and she died."
Me: "I thought she was in the car in front of us."
Hudson: "I know. I'm just kidding...she's just going to the doctor."

Uhhhhh, okay then!

Second memory takes place in our local WalMart. We were walking through the store when Hudson starts hollering at the top of his lungs, "SEVENTY! SEVENTY!" I asked him what in the world he was doing and he informed me that Seventy had walked away from us and that he was trying to find him. I wasn't even aware that he was with us on this particular trip...had I known, I would have informed both Hudson and Seventy that they needed to stay with me while we were in there. And yes, I have spoken to Seventy before. Usually to keep him in check by telling him to stop talking or to knock off whatever nonsense he's pulling.

Yesterday evening a neighbor/friend came over for a minute and we somehow got on the topic of imaginary friends. She friend said that neither of her boys ever had one. But her sister did. And that imaginary friend's name? Black Monkey. When she told me that, I burst out laughing. I couldn't help it and I'm guessing that you just did the same. Am I right?

I told her about a niece of ours who had an imaginary friend that once scared my poor sister-in-law half to death. My SIL was upstairs when she suddenly heard her daughter screaming downstairs. She ran down wondering what was happening as they were the only two home. Her little girl was standing in the middle of the room crying her eyes out. "What is going on?!" Our niece pointed to one side and yelled, "She started it!" Turns out she'd gotten into a massive argument with her imaginary friend. If that had been Jefinner, I would have dropped her like a hot potato.

All in all, imaginary friends are fun. Lots of fun.

Now here's my request to each and every one of you: Please e-mail me with a list of the imaginary friends that you, your spouse, or your children have had along with an experience that you don't mind sharing (if you can remember one...but at least tell me who had the friend and the friend's name). I'd like to do a post in the next couple of weeks with all of these fun tidbits in it. If you need my e-mail address, just leave a comment stating such and I'll send it to you.

A KID'S LIST

I'm having a hard time thinking of something to write today. So I'm turning the keyboard over to my favorite little boy. Actually, I'm doing the typing and he's feeding me his list:

HUDSON'S FAVORITE THINGS (PEOPLE, TOYS, ETC.)

Anne Marie & Ty (best friends at school)

Legos

playing outside

Mom

Dad

Claire

reading books

Luke (Skywalker, that is)

music...on my CD player

going to California

blocks

cars

Seventy (imaginary son...more on him another post)

also my radio on my CD player

play with my Play-Doh

Pretty big stuff for a four-year-old, I guess. Here are Hudson's comments on this list (made at the end of my typing it):

"I am very silly. I also bang into the wall sometimes. And now I'm downstairs. And, uh, my mom is helping me type this list. And everybody just loves me."

TRAVELING HOME

I have a couple of "Hudsonisms" for your enjoyment (a couple of you may have heard these so sorry for the repeat). All three of these little stories occurred within about 4 hours on the day we traveled home.

WHAT COLOR ARE YOU?

My parents are super awesome. They took time out of their day last week to help us get to the airport without having to drag the whole family and our luggage to the car rental return and then on a shuttle to the terminal. Max took off in the rental a while before we did, going to get the car returned and then to meet up with us at Sky Cap. Anyway...

The kids, my parents, and I were all piled in my Dad's car with the luggage in the back. Nearing the airport, the conversation went something like this:

Hudson: "What is that smell?"

Grandma: "I don't know. What's that smell?"

Hudson: "Excuse me."

Me: "What?"

Hudson: "I tooted."

Me: "So you're that smell."

Loud laughter all around. Hudson is positively hysterical.

Grandma: "Hudson, why are you turning red?"

Hudson: "Grandma, why are you turning green?"

I know that he just chose a random color to put into the question he was asking but it fit SO perfectly! We were all roaring, the three adults ending up in tears.

CHOCOLATE MILK (not so much a "Hudsonism"...just a story that falls in the middle)

Once in the terminal and through security (where Max ALWAYS gets the ultimate once-over for having an implant in his hip...my titanium implants are cooler - never set anything off!), Hudson and I headed over to the food court and picked up some Burger King for lunch. Back in the waiting area by the gate, we started to eat. A few minutes later, our "zone" was called so we picked everything up and got ready to go and board. Hudson wanted another drink of his chocolate milk and in spite of my telling him that I wanted him to wait until we were on the plane, he tipped his head back and took a big swig. Then, he managed to pull his mouth away from the bottle before getting the drink all the way upright again. Chocolate milk all over the front of his puffy corduroy vest, down the center of his striped white polo shirt, and in a nice little puddle on the floor. Totally un-awesome.

I gave my boy "the look", wiped him and the floor up with napkins and then boarded the plane. Once we were seated and waiting to taxi, I put Hudson's tray table down and arranged the remainder of his lunch on it. He went to take a drink and I said something like, "Now please be careful and don't spill, okay?" He responded with a promising, "I know, Mom. I won't." I think that by saying that, what he really meant was, "I won't be careful." Not two seconds later, he had additional chocolate milk dripping down his tummy and onto his pants. Super!

Upon cleaning him up again, I got to looking at my chocolate-dipped child. To the un-knowing eye, he looked like he'd tossed his cookies and that his parents had done a mediocre job of cleaning him up. Simply lovely.

A FEW HOURS LATER...

When we landed here, it was quite nice outside...somewhere in the high 60's. We got our luggage and headed to the upper level of the main parking garage where a friend of ours would be picking us up. We parked our bums on a bench and our bags next to us and waited. We quickly found out that while the high 60's would normally be quite pleasant, it isn't so fab when you're sitting in the shade and a cold breeze is whipping through the corridor you're sitting in.

Max was fine as he had a sweatshirt on, I was chilly but OK in 3/4 length sleeves, and Claire was also kosher in her long sleeved outfit. Hudson, on the other hand, had on an undershirt, and the aforementioned chocolate-milky short sleeved polo shirt, and a sleeveless vest. His torso had to have been warm but his little arms were exposed. He sat on the bench looking miserable and said, "I wish Jesus had made me of fur."

PRIORITIES OF A FOUR-YEAR-OLD

As is the nightly routine Max read scriptures with Huds before he tucked him into bed tonight. At the end of their reading, he explained to Hudson that Heavenly Father helped Nephi know how to build the boat. Max then said that anytime he needs help on something, Heavenly Father can help him, too. They talked about various things that Hudson could get help on such as building something, something in school, or making a decision. Hudson responded with a very enthusiastic, "Heavenly Father could help me build Legos...", he paused with a thoughtful look. Then holding one hand up in the "rocker sign" (thumb and middle fingers in, index and pinkie fingers up) and giving a sly, eyebrows-up look, he said, "Star Wars Legos".

That boy of mine...he sure knows what's important.

YUCKY AND ICK

The air outside in our area is totally disgusting these days. Most people here call it inversion, I grew up calling it smog. One could call it air pollution. Regardless of what you want to call it, it's plain old nasty. Where our house sits, we were above it for a while but not anymore. When we get up in the morning, the little canyon we live just outside of is nice and clear but within a couple of hours, it's like smog soup all around. Looks like you could take a spoon and get yourself a heaping serving of it right out of the middle.

Today as we were driving into Salt Lake for doctor's appointments for the kids, I said to Hudson in the back seat, "Look at that thick, barfy air outside. Can you see that?"

His response was, "Yeah. It smells yucky and ick."

While I hadn't said anything about the way it smelled and I don't think one can really smell the smog, all I could think to say back was, "You're right. It is yucky and ick." And it really is just that.

NOT ANYMORE

On Friday or Saturday (don't ask me to be sure of which), we all piled into my car to run an errand or two. Claire was feeling especially vocal and let out a couple of good yells.

Hudson turned to her and said, "We don't yell."

To which I responded, "Yes. You don't yell at all."

His immediate rebuttal was: "Not anymore."

I guess that in his book, "within the past 15 minutes" actually qualifies as "not anymore". That being the case, here are just a few things I don't do anymore:

• get irritable or cranky
• eat chocolate, sugar, or carbohydrates
• yell
• change messy diapers
• talk on the phone for long periods of time
• get upset with my kids
• think negative thoughts
• snack unnecessarily
• drink carbonated beverages
• sit and blog when I should be cleaning or something (oops...already broken)

However, just like Hudson went back on his word of not yelling anymore within a couple of hours, I will undoubtedly do the same on each of the listed items within a couple of days (unfortunately sooner on some of them). And then, once again, I will not do any of them anymore.

PLEASE GET OVER YOURSELF

Everyone at our house was or is sick...

Last Saturday our little Super Girl was diagnosed with croup and double ear infections. On Monday, Sonny got pink eye. Then on Wednesday morning, he was diagnosed with an ear infection and a sinus infection. That afternoon, I was diagnosed with sinus infections on both sides, bronchitis, and an un-official strep infection (didn't do a culture since I was already going on antibiotics). On Friday I got pink eye. And Husband has now come down with a nasty cold, cough, and sore throat and I'm really hoping it doesn't get any worse for him.

In case you're wondering, this is NOT a pity party. We're getting better for the most part and there is actually a point to my writing about all of this.

All week long, we'd been praying that we would all be blessed to get over our respective illnesses. On Friday night, as Sonny was saying his prayers, he got his wording a little bit mixed up and said:

"Please bless (Super Girl) to get over herself."

Husband and I both opened our eyes and glanced at each other, trying very hard not to burst out laughing. We know what he meant and he knows what he meant, but it really didn't come out quite right, now did it?

'Tis the season to catch a cold, or the flu, or a virus. Or whatever else is out there, waiting to attack you. Always just when you think you've escaped it and aren't paying attention. And so, my wish for those of you who are in the old sick boat right now:

I hope you get over yourself.