THE BALL IS OFFICIALLY ROLLING

I had myself a good cry as I went to bed on Monday night. I knew darn well that those tears wouldn't do anything except make my eyes red and puffy. But I hadn't had a real cry in months and while I was feeling down, getting all that water weight out of my system felt kind of good.

Now our big day is over and boy, am I ever glad. Of course, the anticipation leading up to it was far worse than the real thing. And that goes for me and for Hudson...

Hudson watched with excitement as Claire had her x-rays done (and she was a little champ!). We then headed to the lab where he remained totally cool during our wait (the PS2 with a Madagascar game probably helped). Prior to our arrival at the hospital, I had explained to him that it was kind of like a shot but it wouldn't hurt that much and that he would need to be very, very still. Well, he was indeed just fine...until we got into the room with the chair with the funky purple arm rests. Cue a massive freak-out session complete with refusal to sit on mom's lap or his remove jacket and lots and lots of sobbing uncontrollably. Actually, he sounded kind of like I did the night before...but worse.

While Hudson was on my lap with me trying to calm him down (along with 2 nurses attempting the same), Claire had her go at the blood draw in Max's lap. She sat there with great interest as they prepped the skin and put the little tourniquet around her arm. She started crying when the actual "poke" occurred and while she didn't stop until they took the needle out, she kept her fussing and tears to a minimum and quickly chippered up when it was over. All the while, Hudson was on my lap continually protesting his upcoming turn. In the end, Max came over and scooped him up, took him to the chair, and held our over-anticipating boy in his arms while the one nurse drew his blood and the two others stood over him and did their best to distract him. Aside from when it was all over, the best part was hearing Hudson try not to giggle when he realized the needle was - almost painlessly - in his arm. He did his very best to remain upset and keep he tears flowing but he got over it almost as quickly as he got started. It was actually kind of funny...the almost 5-year-old who we can reason with wouldn't be talked out of his tantrum and the toddler who can't be reasoned with remained mostly calm through the whole thing (and kept looking at her brother like, "What is HIS deal?" when it was his turn...I'd like to know, too!).

It's official now: the ball is rolling. As much as I was dreading this being the case, I slept better last night (without any tears) and will continue to do so knowing that first scary step has been taken. I'm sure I'll still have days over the next few weeks where I get myself all lathered up in my fears about the test results and what they could mean for our future. But for now, all we can do is wait and pray and pray some more. And I'll do that for sure.