I AIN'T LAUGHING...

On Tuesday morning Hudson and I went to the dentist (aka my brother-in-law Robi). While Hudson had been to a pediatric dentist for a checkup once before, this was his first official cleaning...very belated, I know. Speaking of belated, I had not been to the dentist since Hudson was just a wee bern. As in about 4 years ago. Maybe even 4 years and a few months. So very naughty of me! But it's so totally not my fault. Robi up and moved to freaking Omaha, Nebraska. His youngest daughter didn't want to go because she was afraid of the "tomatoes" but they packed up and went anyway. And left me without a dentist. How rude.

Okay. Back to my story. So we went to the dentist. I think Hudson did better in the chair than I did...he completely rocked. Sat there calmly while the girl took his x-rays (except for when the digital disc made him gag at one point), breezed through his cleaning, and happily let Uncle Robi check his teeth with his tooth tickler. He does have a couple of tiny cavities in a back molar or two but thankfully Robi said that with continued brushing and flossing we may get away without filling them or having them get any worse for quite some time. Guess I need to kick up my at-home dental care a notch...bad mommy.

Then there was me. Like my little boy, I did fine through my x-rays. And my cleaning went well. But then Robi came along and ruined my good record....5 cavities to be filled. Now mind you, I was expecting the news to be FAR worse after my long absence from his chair. But that's not the point. Point is that Robi brought out his precious little tooth tickler and proceeded to tickle the largest of the holes in my teeth. Let me tell you a little secret: it didn't tickle at all. As a matter of fact, it really, really hurt. I considered biting off Robi's fingers but decided that may be a bit harsh. After this painful experience, I gladly left the chair and set an appointment to get my cavaties filled on Thursday/yesterday.

So yesterday afternoon, my awesome husband came home early and stayed with the kids while I went to spend some quality time in the chair at Robi's office. All five of the fillings were on the top, 2 on one side and 3 on the other. Aside from the typical "little pinch" when he injected the anesthetic and feeling a bit of the drilling on the aforementioned largest cavity, things went off without a hitch. When Robi was finished with his handiwork, I went to the sink for a quick rinse and spit....wait a cotton-pickin' minute! I couldn't freaking get the water in my mouth or spit it out properly. It was dribbling all over the place thanks to my upper lip being about 50% numb. The only part with normal feeling was the center. I quickly looked in the mirror and said something to myself and moved my mouth around so that I could assess the problem. I couldn't pucker or make fish lips. And while my lower lip and jaw looked normal when I smiled, my upper lip looked a wee wider and flatter than usual. The corners curved up and sat in a different way than normal...I looked like Jack Nicholson's Joker:

Thankfully, that morning I had decided against wearing my usual clown make-up so I wasn't quite a spitting image. But it was pretty un-awesome. And not terribly attractive.

As of yesterday evening, the numbness was gone. And my fillings weren't hurting one bit...bonus! But it didn't wear off until the end of a dinner with an old friend whom I hadn't seen in ages. I managed to get through the meal without too many problems but had issues with drinking my Dr. Pepper and eating strawberries as the juices tried to escape my pitiful lips.

NOTE TO SELF: In the future, do not schedule dental work for the same day that you have invited company over for dinner.

Okay, the dental work is over. But it's time for a RANDOM FLASHBACK: I couldn't help but smile when I heard (and sang along with) a commercial I heard from the next room as I typed this post last night. Cue Biz Markie: "And you say he's just a friend. And you say he's just a friend. OH BABY, YOU! You got what I neeeeed. And you say he's just a friend..."

It's going to be makin' my head bob the rest of the night.