LIST: Things I Was Never Going To Do As A Parent

I'm a hypocrite. A super guilty hypocrite who has eaten her own words many times. Years ago, before I had children (and even after I did), I would say things like, "I can't believe that a parent would _______!" or "I won't ever ______ when I'm a mom." Riiiiiigggght. Time for me to provide you with what a whopping three of you asked for. I'm sure I'm going to forget some things but here is a list (complete with condemning stories) of:

THINGS I SAID I'D NEVER DO AS A PARENT AND HAVE TOTALLY DONE (OR DO)

Forget to buckle my child in or fail to secure their car seat...

Once, when Hudson was only a couple of months old, we went to visit my parents. My mom and I went to the store, taking Mini Max with us. Upon finishing our errands, I put his infant carrier (into which he was strapped) in the backseat and off we went. When we got back to the house, I was horrified to find that being in the habit of just "clicking" the seat into its base, I had just set the carrier on the backseat and failed to buckle it in. Oops. I never pulled that number again (with him or Claire) but I have failed to buckle up Hudson a couple of times (one time I didn't realize it and he didn't tell me until we were doing 70 on the freeway) and I did the same with Claire once a month or two ago. Thankfully, she was kind enough to alert me before we got out of the garage.

Give my child a "dirty" pacifier off the floor...

Never had this problem with Claire (thumbs are wonderful things!) but Hudson LOVED his passies. In the beginning we were good about getting him a clean one or washing the fallen passy if he dropped it. But after about 3 times of dealing with that malarkey, we went with the 20 Minute Rule which includes such handy guidelines as:

• "If you only noticed it on the floor recently, then it couldn't have been there long."
• "When no other/clean pacifiers are within an arm's reach, the parent is obliged to use what is in front of them."
• "If there isn't any visible dog hair or dirt on it, it's clean!"
• "Licking the passy off yourself before giving it to your infant completely decontaminates it."

As far as I know, he never contracted any horrible diseases from this practice. He may have, but we're going to live in ignorant bliss on this one.

Use that whole silly "time out" system...

I think we lasted about a year - maybe 18 months? - on this one. Hudson was pretty easy going as an infant and didn't really have a lot of behavioral issues. But once he started with a bit of an attitude and the likes thereof, we immediately designated a time out spot in our kitchen. Always has been the main spot and probably always will be. We used (and still use) it with Hudson and it has become and sweet second home for Claire as well.

Let my child eat chicken nuggets and the likes thereof...

I totally stuck to my guns on this one with Hudson. He probably had a total of 3 Happy Meals in his first 3 years of life. He was happy to try anything once and liked all the good stuff - fruits, veggies, salmon, chicken & steak, etc. Then came Claire. She's the polar opposite of her brother when it comes to food. She won't try much of anything. She can love something the 1st time she eats it and then refuse to touch it ever again. Her diet consists of fruits, a handful of veggies, dairy products (yogurt, milk, cheese), and breads/grains. Sure, those things are all fantastic, but she is apparently making a go at being a vegetarian of sorts. The only dishes that she'll eat that have meat in them are: spaghetti or ravioli with meat marinara sauce, chicken and rice casserole, and chicken nuggets. No, the first two aren't all that horrible but unfortunately, she goes in phases with both of them. Chicken nuggets are the only "meat" product that she'll consistently eat. And that being the case, my 2-year-old daughter has had more Happy Meals and chicken nuggets in her life than her 5-year-old brother has had in his.

Allow my child to sleep in my bed...

To say the very least, Hudson was a rotten sleeper as an infant and toddler. At least when it came to snoozing in his crib. In the car? No problem. In our arms at church? Great! But he acted like his crib was some sort of a torture device and it seemed that no matter how many times we tried to "train" him to sleep well, the training would unravel within a few days and he was back to getting up a number of times each night. There were times when he was literally up 13-15 times. This was not exactly conducive to my getting the sleep that I needed each night. He didn't sleep in our bed all the time, but it was very much the norm for him to end up between us for a stint in the early morning hours or for the last hour or two before we had to get up in the morning. Allowing him to sleep in between us may not have been the best way to teach him a lesson (yeah...he kind of won on that one) but it allowed us some much needed rest on a regular basis.

One final note on this matter - I would like to thank Claire for not ever wanting to sleep in our bed and for being a better sleeper than her older brother. Hudson was still getting up in the night at age 3 1/2 when she started sleeping through the night around 2 months. She loved her crib and she loves her bed. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Use the television or movies/DVD's as a babysitter...

No need for much of an explanation on this one. I cannot tell you how many times sitting my child (or children) in front of the t.v. has allowed me one of the following:

• a shower
• time to make a meal
• a chance to clean
• my sanity

Enough said. And if any of you claims that you haven't ever done the same, you're totally lying.

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I know that there are other things that I've done in a very hypocritical manner but nothing is jumping out at me at the moment. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and make sure that my daughter is enjoying her movie...